Sensitive, yet excellent article. In Canada, which I seriously refer to as Chinada, parents are not aloud in many of the 'public' schools, except by invitation, while their children are being taught sex education, groomed, and enticed to question their identity ...They are teaching sex education to children, from Kindergarten, with transvestites dancing and displaying genitals in some schools. When they near their teens, if they are confused about their identity and depressed, they are offered MAID as an alternative. "Just kill yourself... It's okay. We'll support you and send an ambulance to pick you up when you're done! This happened to my nephew. The drugs didn't work, so he hung himself in his brother's garage. It is a sick world we live in.
Hopefully, one day humans will learn the real meaning of life and creation as LOVE - Life's Omnipotent Verities Eternal... perhaps along with a few Commandments, "Do unto others as you would have done unto you!" "Love one another as thyself!"... and treat each other with respect, in the knowing that "what goes around comes around" ... like a boomerang!
Perhaps then humans will wake up and live like the divine beings we were born into this world to be and live with compassion and understanding of oneself and each other.
What should be so easy - protect the children at all costs - ends up being so complicated. Here the Child Protection is guided by fear, not fear of what might happen to children if they and their families are not believed and supported but fear of what ‘alleged’ perpetrators might do to them if they get it wrong. Result, as you say most perpetrators are protected at the cost of the lives of children. You are also right in saying that not all children who have been sexually abused go on to abuse others, in fact the majority do not. But, it is also true that the majority of those who sexually abuse children were themselves abused as children. The extent to which the child experienced sexual pleasure (arousal) coupled with the extent to which the child absorbs perpetrator informed messages re the abuse, much more likely if they do experience pleasurable bodily feelings - even while their mind and spirit hate what is happening - the greater the likelihood of falling into abusing others. Not their fault, always the perpetrators, until they become a perpetrator also………no one talks about sexual arousal as a part of sexual abuse so we miss a key component of heightened offending risk. One day I’ll write the book - or at least the article!
Sorry - a couple of other things. In my experience risk assessments conducted by Corrections staff are usually far too optimistic, because the report writers usually don’t have the range and depth of knowledge and experience to accurately identify the drivers to offending and subsequent potential risk.
Finally. I really dislike the term”grooming”. Seduction or Entrapment are germs which are far more accurate to describe the process. And are terms that far more accurately describe the experience of many if not most victims. Also grooming is so often inaccurately used to describe behaviours which have already crossed the line to criminal offence.
In my long experience working with male child sex offenders they are usually quite reluctant to see any connection between their own childhood histories of sexual abuse and the sexual abuse they go on to perpetrate against others. Reluctant because this will force them to re-consider the perpetrator-informed messages they have absorbed about the abuse; “I liked it, I wanted it, I encouraged it, no harm done etc”. These messages then go on to support them going on to abuse others - “If the child likes it and I want to do it where’s the harm?”
The long hard work is in helping the perpetrator connect with how he really felt at the time of the abuse - and after. Never, ever to use his victimisation to excuse his offending but always as a pathway to lessening the chance of him continuing to abuse in the future. I cannot say if this equally applies to female offenders as I have worked with so few. But females physiological and bodily response to abusive touch somewhat protects them from fully absorbing the above perpetrator-informed messages.
Sadly many schools in New Zealand are incapable of providing the support that special needs children need.
Much parent / caregiver blaming still exists.
And, these schools also deliberately alienate the parent / caregivers, from the child and what they're being taught.
Also, sadly, our child 'safety' organizations are infiltrated with 'so - called professionals' who think nothing of placing vulnerable children with known paedophilles and / or convicted violent ex - criminals.
Not all abused children commit sexual offences as adults.
The vetting of school teachers, social workers, sports coaches, Policemen / women needs to be improved asap in New Zealand, as currently our judiciary favours the perpetrators.
The recent despicable behaviour of our 'top cops' has destroyed any trust that victims and their families had in New Zealand Police Force.
Many victims do not come forward, for fear of more abuse and trauma in the slow drawn out New Zealand court process, where they are further traumatized, and often blamed.
One factor which has not been mentioned is the lighter sentences women frequently receive for the same offence. There is considerable data supporting this contention. Females are more likely to be perceived as victims and males are more likely to be perceived as perpetrators. It must create some confusion when the roles are reversed as in this case and may partially account for down playing of the offence.
Jesus said....LEAVE THE CHILDREN ALONE...and look how far we've come in abusing them and not taking care of them believing the crooks in power care.....
Great article, parents need to pull their children out of school. Period. This is so abusive to children it is unbelievable that this is happening. This is so disgusting how can anyone think this is okay.
Sensitive, yet excellent article. In Canada, which I seriously refer to as Chinada, parents are not aloud in many of the 'public' schools, except by invitation, while their children are being taught sex education, groomed, and enticed to question their identity ...They are teaching sex education to children, from Kindergarten, with transvestites dancing and displaying genitals in some schools. When they near their teens, if they are confused about their identity and depressed, they are offered MAID as an alternative. "Just kill yourself... It's okay. We'll support you and send an ambulance to pick you up when you're done! This happened to my nephew. The drugs didn't work, so he hung himself in his brother's garage. It is a sick world we live in.
Hopefully, one day humans will learn the real meaning of life and creation as LOVE - Life's Omnipotent Verities Eternal... perhaps along with a few Commandments, "Do unto others as you would have done unto you!" "Love one another as thyself!"... and treat each other with respect, in the knowing that "what goes around comes around" ... like a boomerang!
Perhaps then humans will wake up and live like the divine beings we were born into this world to be and live with compassion and understanding of oneself and each other.
Hi Susan
What should be so easy - protect the children at all costs - ends up being so complicated. Here the Child Protection is guided by fear, not fear of what might happen to children if they and their families are not believed and supported but fear of what ‘alleged’ perpetrators might do to them if they get it wrong. Result, as you say most perpetrators are protected at the cost of the lives of children. You are also right in saying that not all children who have been sexually abused go on to abuse others, in fact the majority do not. But, it is also true that the majority of those who sexually abuse children were themselves abused as children. The extent to which the child experienced sexual pleasure (arousal) coupled with the extent to which the child absorbs perpetrator informed messages re the abuse, much more likely if they do experience pleasurable bodily feelings - even while their mind and spirit hate what is happening - the greater the likelihood of falling into abusing others. Not their fault, always the perpetrators, until they become a perpetrator also………no one talks about sexual arousal as a part of sexual abuse so we miss a key component of heightened offending risk. One day I’ll write the book - or at least the article!
Sorry - a couple of other things. In my experience risk assessments conducted by Corrections staff are usually far too optimistic, because the report writers usually don’t have the range and depth of knowledge and experience to accurately identify the drivers to offending and subsequent potential risk.
Finally. I really dislike the term”grooming”. Seduction or Entrapment are germs which are far more accurate to describe the process. And are terms that far more accurately describe the experience of many if not most victims. Also grooming is so often inaccurately used to describe behaviours which have already crossed the line to criminal offence.
In my long experience working with male child sex offenders they are usually quite reluctant to see any connection between their own childhood histories of sexual abuse and the sexual abuse they go on to perpetrate against others. Reluctant because this will force them to re-consider the perpetrator-informed messages they have absorbed about the abuse; “I liked it, I wanted it, I encouraged it, no harm done etc”. These messages then go on to support them going on to abuse others - “If the child likes it and I want to do it where’s the harm?”
The long hard work is in helping the perpetrator connect with how he really felt at the time of the abuse - and after. Never, ever to use his victimisation to excuse his offending but always as a pathway to lessening the chance of him continuing to abuse in the future. I cannot say if this equally applies to female offenders as I have worked with so few. But females physiological and bodily response to abusive touch somewhat protects them from fully absorbing the above perpetrator-informed messages.
Sadly many schools in New Zealand are incapable of providing the support that special needs children need.
Much parent / caregiver blaming still exists.
And, these schools also deliberately alienate the parent / caregivers, from the child and what they're being taught.
Also, sadly, our child 'safety' organizations are infiltrated with 'so - called professionals' who think nothing of placing vulnerable children with known paedophilles and / or convicted violent ex - criminals.
Not all abused children commit sexual offences as adults.
The vetting of school teachers, social workers, sports coaches, Policemen / women needs to be improved asap in New Zealand, as currently our judiciary favours the perpetrators.
The recent despicable behaviour of our 'top cops' has destroyed any trust that victims and their families had in New Zealand Police Force.
Many victims do not come forward, for fear of more abuse and trauma in the slow drawn out New Zealand court process, where they are further traumatized, and often blamed.
One factor which has not been mentioned is the lighter sentences women frequently receive for the same offence. There is considerable data supporting this contention. Females are more likely to be perceived as victims and males are more likely to be perceived as perpetrators. It must create some confusion when the roles are reversed as in this case and may partially account for down playing of the offence.
Jesus said....LEAVE THE CHILDREN ALONE...and look how far we've come in abusing them and not taking care of them believing the crooks in power care.....
Great article, parents need to pull their children out of school. Period. This is so abusive to children it is unbelievable that this is happening. This is so disgusting how can anyone think this is okay.